It's Gravitation
by Els-chan
Summary: Dumbledore is being influenced by an insane author, and now Hogwarts is doing a television production...say what? Track 18 now up. REMINDER: I said this after OotP, I'll say it again now. THIS STORY IS AU. THIS DOES NOT CONTAIN SPOILERS FOR HBP BECAUS
1. Track 1

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Harry Potter Does Gravitation

A Work of Fiction by: Els-chan

A/N: Yes, I am fully aware that I have gone stark raving mad. No, I don't know exactly what possessed me to write this, although I have a feeling that watching too much Gravitation and reading too many HP fics may have had a hand in it. Actually, this was inspired by little convos I wrote down that I found after being hidden away in the back of a notebook since the summer. It basically was a bunch of outtakes from Gravitation. It didn't take much after that for my crazed, yaoi-filled mind to apply it to HP. Also, it's the only thing keeping me from going into a deep angst-filled state that 'Mortal Coil' is trying to drive me into. And I promise, that wasn't intended to be a shameless plug. These chapters are going to be pretty short, mostly because I find it hard to concentrate enough on actually getting this into story format before my mind starts wandering into happy little fangirl land. So, just enjoy this silly little parody. Feedback is always welcome and encouraged.

Warnings: There's slash in them thar hills! HP/SS. 

Disclaimer: I own nothing…well, at least none of these characters…

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The day had started off normally enough. Harry had woken up, brushed his teeth, gotten dressed, and then headed down to the Great Hall with Ron and Hermione in tow. He'd exchanged his insults and death glares with Malfoy before sitting down to a nice, hearty breakfast care of the house elves. He endured the praise and fawning-over by a number of people not in Slytherin, most notably the Creevy brothers, for his final defeat of Voldemort a month ago. He relaxed once Ron and Hermione stopped in to get everyone to leave him alone. He looked up at the Staff Table and glared at Snape (purely out of habit, as neither really hated the other anymore), waited for the sneer, then, satisfied that life was normal and all was right with the world, he started in on his breakfast. Pity that his nice, normal day was about to be spoiled by some twisted author's manipulation of everyone's favorite, though slightly mad, headmaster.

Once the Great Hall had been completely filled, Albus Dumbledore stood and called for everyone's attention. Severus cringed inwardly. He knew what was coming- Dumbledore had already informed the staff of his latest "brilliant plan" at yesterday's staff meeting. Honestly, what was the man thinking? A production of a "television show" (Albus had shattered the fourth wall several times during his explanation), to be produced and performed by members of the staff and student body alike. As Dumbledore explained this to the students, Severus thought back to the premise of the show - something about gay rockstars or some nonsense. Normally, he wouldn't care about such garbage, but Albus had already taken the liberty of drawing up the final cast list without consulting anybody (Severus had a sneaking suspicion that the "author" Albus had referred to more than once had a hand in this), and had "oh-so-generously" cast Severus as one of the leads - the gay boyfriend - across from none other than Harry Potter. Of course, Severus protested this until he was blue in the face, knowing full well that it wouldn't do any good. Once Albus had his mind set on something, there was no use trying to change it. He decided that once the headmaster finished his speech, he would make a mad dash for the dungeons and lock himself in his rooms. He was sure he had some poison lying about somewhere.

Harry sighed deeply as the headmaster described his latest project. For some reason, it gave him a deep sense of foreboding and, noting Snape's more-irritated-than-usual expression, he decided that he really wanted no part of this. None at all.

"Also, all students actively involved in the production will be exempt from end-of-term exams," Dumbledore was saying. Okay, maybe having a little part in this wouldn't be so bad, Harry decided. Seriously, how bad could it be? Professor Lupin seemed fine with it, although he did keep sending Harry somewhat troubling looks. And a couple of muggle-born girls at the Ravenclaw table seemed absolutely thrilled when they heard the title - "Gravitation". Maybe this wouldn't be so bad…as long as he didn't have to do anything really horrifying, like singing, he should be fine.

"Finally, we will be posting the cast list immediately after breakfast. All student members of the cast should pick up a script from either Professor McGonagall or Professor Sprout sometime before lunch. That is all," Dumbledore concluded, then reclaimed his seat beside Snape, just as Snape stood to leave. Dumbledore stopped him by placing a hand on his elbow. "Where are you going, Severus? We're just about to post the cast list for the students!"

"I know," Snape replied. "I'm off to locate one of the few remaining Death Eaters. I'm sure they'll be more than happy to use the killing curse on me." And with that, Severus swept out of the Great Hall, his robes billowing dramatically behind him.

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	2. Track 2

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Harry Potter Does Gravitation

Chapter 2

A/N: OOC-ness abounds, I imagine…I have trouble thinking 'IC' when I'm being irritatingly sarcastic…or making one of my weak attempts at humor. Please forgive me, as I really, really, REALLY would hate it if you didn't…*sniffle*

Warnings: There's slash in them thar hills! HP/SS. 

Disclaimer: I own nothing…well, at least none of these characters…

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The cast list had been enlarged so that it covered an entire wall across from the Great Hall. The casting, as well as brief part descriptions, were listed, and at the very top was Harry's name.

"Oh, sweet Merlin, no," Harry muttered, looking at the wall. They'd cast him as the lead – the _gay_ lead. It wasn't that Harry had a problem with homosexuality; the truth was that he himself was gay. The problem was that no one else knew about it yet, and he'd hoped to keep it that way for the time being, lest he draw even more attention to himself. To make matters worse, his character was a singer, and Harry couldn't carry a tune. "Oh, splendid," he grumbled, thinking things couldn't possibly get worse.

You'd think he'd know better than to think things like that.

His eyes scanned further down the list until he reached his character's boyfriend. His eyes followed across to the casting, and he screamed, not unlike a five-year-old girl, before hitting the floor in a dead faint. 

Snape, who happened to be passing by on his way to the Headmaster's office to beg him to reconsider the whole idea, looked down at Harry's unconscious form. 

"My thoughts exactly, Potter," he said, before continuing on his way.

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Harry awoke a minute or two later after Ron slapped his face a few times. "You alright, mate?" the redhead was saying. Harry just looked around groggily, and vaguely made note of some sort of argument going on in the background between Ginny and Malfoy.

"Malfoy! Stop being such a pain in the arse and let the rest of us see the list!"

"What was that, Weasley?!"

"I said, stop being a pain in the arse!"

"I'll give you a pain in the arse…"

"Somehow I doubt that, what with me being _female_ and all…" Ginny's last poke at Malfoy's sexuality brought Harry back to reality with a loud 'whomp'. Actually, the 'whomp' was the result of Harry's head hitting the floor as he blacked out once more.

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Harry woke up for the third time that day a few hours later in the hospital wing. Looking around, he noticed that he was not alone. Both Ron and Hermione sat in chairs by his bedside. Ron grinned when he saw his best friend wake up, but Hermione didn't seem to notice as she was too busy highlighting things on some stapled printouts. Briefly, Harry wondered where she'd gotten the highlighter and the printouts from, but recalling how absurd the rest of the day had been, he decided he didn't want to know. Quietly, he sat up and swung his legs over the side of his bed, taking notice of some rope lying on the floor nearby. 'That might come in handy…' he thought to himself before Hermione spoke up.

"Say, Harry? Who were you cast as again?" she asked him.

"I'm feeling fine, now, thanks," he replied. Hermione just looked at him, and he sighed. "Why do you ask, 'Mione?"

"Because Ron was cast as Hiro, and I was cast as this Fujisaki character who doesn't even seem to be in the first script, and they're supposedly both in the same band. I wondered if you were in it as well," Hermione replied matter-of-factly. "So, tell me, who were you cast as?"

Harry sighed and stared at the floor. Damn his luck. "…Shuichi," he replied quietly. Hermione looked down at the papers in her hand and beamed. 

"Great! We _are_ all in the same band, then!" she said happily. Ron, however, looked more horror-stricken than thrilled.

"But, Harry…doesn't that mean that…you'll have to…Snape…"

Harry hopped off the bed and snatched the rope up off the floor. "Yes, I'm playing across from Snape. Now if you'll excuse me," he said, making his way for the door, rope in hand. Hermione looked up from her papers again with a slightly puzzled look.

"Harry? Where are you going with that length of rope?" she asked.

"To the Astronomy Tower. If I don't come back, don't be surprised," Harry callled back over his shoulder as he walked out of the Infirmary. Ron and Hermione exchanged glances before jumping up and hurrying after him.


	3. Track 3

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Harry Potter Does Gravitation

Chapter 3

A/N: OOC-ness still abounds, I imagine…I have trouble thinking 'IC' when I'm being irritatingly sarcastic…or making one of my weak attempts at humor. Please forgive me, as I really, really, REALLY would hate it if you didn't…*sniffle* And I know this is just a 'filler' type chapter…but I needed it. Really, I did. Besides, 2 chapters in one day! That doesn't happen very often, you know…

Warnings: There's slash in them thar hills! HP/SS. 

Disclaimer: I own nothing…well, at least none of these characters…

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Slam. Slam. Slam.

"You know, Harry, if you keep slamming your head into the wall like that, you're going to give yourself brain damage," Professor Lupin was saying, the slightest hint of amusement in his voice. Harry paused briefly and turned to Remus with a glare.

"Good. Then maybe I'll have an excuse to get out of this. Or at least destroy enough memory cells so that I'll never remember this," Harry replied, then returned to his lastest favorite pasttime. Quidditch had nothing on this.

"Harry…Harry!" Remus grabbed him and physically pulled him away from the wall. "Sirius would kill me if I let you keep doing that."

"Oh, I don't know. I think that, all things considered, he'd understand, given the circumstances." He gave Remus a "look" as the werewolf snickered quietly. Hermione had finally given Harry the script for the first episode that she'd picked up for him while he was still unconscious. Upon reading it, Harry discovered that his worst fear was to be realized – he would have to sing. Often. In a foreign language. And to make matters even worse, he would have to kiss Snape. That, however, was unimportant compared to the prospect of him singing. This disturbed him a bit, and he decided to chalk it up to the shock not fully setting in yet. It didn't help as much as he'd hoped.

"Harry, really, it shouldn't be so bad…" Remus trailed off as Harry gave him a look promising death if he finished that sentence. "Um, well…think of it this way, Harry. Snape's in the same position as you."

"If that's supposed to reassure me, I'm sorry to say that it has failed miserably," Harry growled. "Besides, _he_ doesn't have to sing, and in a foreign language to boot. No, he just has to be his pissy self!" He sighed. "God, what I wouldn't give to be in a coma right now…"

"Harry! That's horrible!" Lupin frowned. "If it bothers you that much, you can always go talk to Dumble…"

"I already tried that," Snape cut him off, coming up behind Lupin, goblet in hand, and effectively scaring the hell out of everyone's favorite lycanthrope. Lupin clutched a hand to his chest and turned to look at Snape wide-eyed.

"Could you please not do that in the future, Severus? I'd like to live to see my next birthday," Lupin growled.

Severus snorted, but didn't reply. Instead he held the goblet out to Remus. "Drink this now," was all he said. Remus frowned.

"You could be a little more pleasant about it," he complained. Severus, however, was ignoring him, instead turning his focus on Harry, who had returned to the riveting sport of slamming his head against the wall.

"Perhaps I'm missing something," Severus began, "but I fail to see how giving yourself a concussion in Professor Lupin's classroom will solve anything."

"Brain damage," was all Harry said as he continued.

Severus was about to say something about not needing to continue as Harry already had plenty of it when Lupin handed the goblet back to him.

"Thanks very much, Severus," Remus said, before once again pulling Harry away from the wall. "Harry, I really wish you'd stop that…"

"And I really wish Ron and Hermione had let me hang myself. Pity we can't always get what we want, eh?" And Harry returned to his wall.

Remus turned to Snape with a pleading look. Severus snorted. "I happen to find his behavior rather amusing,"he said, then turned his attention to Harry. "It might be more effective if you hit a bit harder." Harry turned to glare at him. Snape smirked.

"It'd be even more effective if I wasn't involved in this stupid thing at all," Harry retorted, then sighed. "It's times like this I wish I could cast _Avada Kedavra_ on myself…"

"Harry!" Lupin cried out in horror. Harry rolled his eyes.

"I wasn't being serious…not entirely, anyway," he reassured his new godfather. Sirius insisted that Harry think of Remus as his other godfather after he and Remus were married. Harry had been more than happy to comply.

"Are you sure, Potter? I'm sure that I can dig up a nice potion…" Snape began, but was silenced by a glare from Lupin. He sighed. "Lupin, you have no sense of humor…"

Harry barked out a laugh. "Look who's talking!" he exclaimed. Snape looked downright insulted.

"Mr. Potter, just because you can't appreciate my sharp wit…" he trailed off. "Why am I arguing with you anyway? Ten points from Gryffindor for being an obnoxious brat."

Harry glared at Snape again before turning his attention back to the wall.

Slam. Slam. Slam.

Remus pulled Harry away from the wall again. "Stop it now, Harry!" he yelled. That got Harry's attention. Lupin _never_ yelled. "I'm not kidding around. Look, you've got a whole week before the first rehearsal…" he sighed. "Just…just _deal_ with it, okay?"

Harry sighed but nodded. It wasn't fair. But then, his life had been a parade of unfairness, and this was just thrown on top of the heaping pile. He risked another glare at Snape, earning him a raised eyebrow. "Really, you act as though this is _my_ fault," Snape snorted. Jarry saod nothing, instead turning and leaving the room and the two professors silently.

Remus looked at Severus. "Try not to torture him too much, Severus. Sirius will not be very tolerant if you…" Snape raised a hand, effectively cutting Remus off.

"I assure you, Lupin, I will strive not to make this any more unpleasant than it is already guaranteed to be." And with that, Snape swept out of the room, empty goblet in hand.

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	4. Cast List

Because so many of you asked for it, here it is. The finalized cast list. I know some of them are kind of awkward, but there are reasons (which I won't get into) for why I chose who is playing what. Sorry if you don't approve. Anyway, here we go…

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CAST LIST

Yuki Eiri– Severus

Shuichi – Harry 

Hiroshi – Ron

Fujisaki-kun – Hermione

Tohma – Remus 

Ryuichi – Dean

Noriko – Hannah Abbot

Mika – Madam Pomfrey

Tatsuha – Sirius

Ayaka – Lavender

Aizawa – Draco

Ma-kun – Goyle

Gen-chan – Crabbe

Sakano-san – Terry Boot

K – Seamus

Kaoruko-san – Ginny

Yuki Kitazawa – Ernie MacMillan

Young Yuki – Dennis Creevy

Young Tohma – Colin Creevy

Yuki's father – Dumbledore

Bartender – Neville

Director – Dumbledore

Asst. Directors – McGonagall and Sprout


	5. Track 4

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Harry Potter Does Gravitation

Chapter 4

A/N: My, it has been a while since I've last updated, hasn't it? Sorry about that. Anyway, for those of you who don't know, Gravitation is an anime. It focuses on Shindou Shuichi and his many misadventures, so to speak. Actually, that's a horrible summary for the series. If you're interested, look it up on the anipike at anipike.com (just put a www. before it)

Anyway, enough of this. Let's just get to the story, shall we?

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The week passed by far too quickly in Harry's opinion, and soon the Saturday of the first rehearsal had arrived. Harry found himself being quite literally dragged by Ron and Hermione down to the Great Hall for the first rehearsal. Worst of all, it wasn't even going to be a nice, simple read-through – oh, no. Dumbledore wanted the _whole episode staged and acted out_ before dinner that evening. Apparently, lunch would be of little consequence to the cast and crew, although food was being sent to the house common rooms for the non-participants. Somehow, that seemed just a tad unfair to Harry. Pity he had no say in the matter.

Well, at least they weren't going to make him sing today.

Severus Snape sulked in a corner. This was in no way, shape, or form right. In _any_ sense of the word. Severus was becoming more and more certain that the headmaster had gone completely barmy. Honestly, acting out the _entire thing_ in one day, with no prior rehearsal at that, was too much! Perhaps he could at least convince Albus to cut the very last scene…No, he knew that was too much to ask for. Besides, he'd already tried that. All week. Severus couldn't remember a time when he'd ever groveled that much, even when he was still in the service of the Dark Lord. And that was saying something. And to top it all off, that mongrel Black had shown up. Apparently, he too had a part in this farce, despite him not being a member of the faculty or student body. Severus could only hope that Lupin would be able to keep his lap dog…er, husband…under control. He considered asking if the mutt was paper-trained yet, but decided against it as the full moon had just passed and Remus was still pretty drained.

Severus looked up as Potter entered the room. Normally, he wouldn't even take notice of the boy's presence; however, Potter was making quite the spectacle of himself, having been dragged in by his lackeys, threatening them with Unforgivables all the way. Severus might have found his behavior amusing if not for the fact that he would be acting rather…intimately with the homicidally enraged young man before the day was out. He thought he'd been dreading it before, but now he knew that he'd rather have a threesome with Hagrid and whatever horrific beast he had about lately than have to try to kiss a psychotic Harry Potter. No, Severus was not looking forward to this at all.

Harry did, eventually, calm down (thanks to the efforts of his godfathers), but his attitude toward the whole thing didn't improve in the slightest. It wasn't very surprising, then, that he didn't take his acting very seriously. But then, Severus was also being quite difficult about the whole thing, and between the two of them, the rehearsal dragged along much slower than it should have. To say the least, McGonagall and Sprout were not pleased with the way things were going. However, bloodshed was avoided for the most part (no thanks to Sirius and Severus's bickering), and that really was the best that they could hope for. It didn't change the fact that both Harry and Severus were behaving like utter prats, though.

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Sprout: "Come on, Severus! With feeling!"

Severus: "Disgust is a feeling."

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Sprout: "Okay, Ron, Harry…take it from 'You like him…'"

Ron: "You like him. He's the only thing you can talk about."

Harry: "What are you talking about?! He's a slimy, greasy, pain-in-the…"

Sprout: "Cut! Harry, the line is, 'What are you talking about?! He's a guy!'"

Harry: "Poetic license. Besides, my version's more accurate."

Sprout: "That doesn't apply to this! And Severus, put down your wand…"

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McGonagall: "Okay, take it from Mika's entrance."

Pomfrey: (bursting through a door) "Eiri! Wait right…Who's the kid?"

Severus: "A thorn in my side."

McGonagall: "Cut! Severus, _try_ to be serious!"

Severus: "Why would I want to be that flea-bitten mongrel?"

McGonagall: "Severus! Let's try this again from Mika's entrance…"

Pomfrey: (again, bursting through a door) "Eiri! Wait right…Who's the kid?"

Severus: (coming around to put his arm around Harry's shoulders) "Okay, let's go, Shuichi." (looks up at Pomfrey) "I'm with him today." (starts cuddling Harry, causing Harry to somehow turn pale and blush something awful at the same time) "Ah, it's so cute how he needs so much attention…"

Harry: "A…attention?!"

Severus: (more cuddling) "Ah, you're so stubborn, Shuichi! But that's what makes you so cute!" (voice lowers to a deadly whisper) _"Play along or I'll kill you."_

Harry: "Then kill me before I get sick!"

Severus: "Gladly."

McGonagall: "Cut! There will be no murder on this set! Severus, don't make me confiscate your wand!"

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And so it went. Eventually, much sarcasm and Harry-blushing later, McGonagall got tired of trying to direct. Sprout refused to take over, citing the fact that she'd done all the other scenes, and even if she hadn't, there was NO WAY that she was going to do the next, and last, scene. And so they called upon Albus Dumbledore, the fearless director. His eyes twinkled when he realized what scene they were about to work on, and he smiled. "Ah, yes, the final scene. Thank goodness…it's almost time for dinner!" Both Harry and Snape just stood there, wondering how the most observant and brilliant wizard in all of Great Britain, if not the world, could miss the severity of the situation.

Finally, Harry snapped out of it and turned to Severus. "Keep your paws to yourself and _no tongue_!" he growled. Severus sneered. Honestly, the nerve of that pompous little brat! As if he wanted to do this any more than Potter did in the first place…Damn Dumbledore for making him do this!

"Sometimes I wonder if it wouldn't have been better to continue serving the Dark Lord rather than defecting. He never did anything this sadistic…"

Harry snorted. "Oh, yes, _you're_ certainly one to talk about being sadistic!"

Severus growled. "Potter, you have no idea how unbelievably lucky you are that the headmaster will not let me inflict severe bodily harm upon your person…"

"Gentlemen! Places, please!" Dumbledore interrupted. Sighing, they each moved into position. "Harry, hold the door open…that's it, just like that! Okay, begin!"

Harry took a deep breath, then began his tirade. "I don't give a damn if you come or not! Calling my song a piece of crap…you don't even understand it, do you?!" Hey, this was actually quite therapeutic, yelling at Snape. 'Ha! Take that, you biased, sexy bastard!' "If you think it's so bad, why don't you just ignore it?!" 'Wait a minute…SEXY?! Since when is Snape sexy?!' "Why do you have to go on about it?!" 'Well, he does have a nice arse…and those hands…that voice…OHMYGOD, WHAT AM I THINKING?!' "Why do you have to challenge me like…?"

"Shut up," Severus interjected, perfectly on cue. "You drive me crazy asking 'why, why?' You're as bad as she is." He backed Harry up against the wall of the conjured "lift". "Let me ask you, 'why?' Why do you keep showing up?" 'He really does have lovely eyes…so dark yet so light at the same time…so very green…' "Why do you look at me like that?" 'Such lovely lips, too…I wonder if they taste as sweet as they look?' "Tell me…" And with that, Severus Snape kissed Harry Potter.

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End chapter four.

You want to see how I'd initially intended the final scene to go down, before my rabid yaoi fangirl hormones kicked in? Here you go: the original last scene.

Harry: "I don't give a damn if you come or not! Calling my song a piece of crap…you don't even understand it do you?! If you think it's so bad, why don't you just ignore it?! Why do you have to go on about it?! Why do you even bother to challenge me like…?"

Severus: "Shut up. You drive me crazy asking 'why, why?' You're as bad as she is. Let me ask you 'why?' Why do you keep showing up? Why do you look at me like that? …Tell me…"

(Severus kisses Harry. Suddenly, he yelps and pulls away)

Severus: "OW! The lithul buggah bith me!"

Harry: "I TOLD YOU! NO TONGUE! Ugh, I need mouthwash…"

Dumbledore: (laughing) "Cu…cut!"

Severus: "Ith noth funny! Thith really hurth!"

Sirius: "Good! Slimy pervert, that'll teach ya!"

Severus: "Pothur! I'll kill you!"

Remus: (rather amused) "You know, Severus, somehow it loses something with that lisp…"

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Remember, C&C is always welcome and encouraged! I can't know if I'm doing something right or wrong unless you, the reader, tell me! Buh-bye for now!


	6. Track 5

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Harry Potter Does Gravitation

Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I think I forgot to put this in the last chapter. Oh, well. Either way, I own NOTHING.

A/N: Not as funny a chapter, but it does provide insight into what Harry and Sev, not to mention Remus and Sirius, were thinking during that kiss. Oh, and I think I made Remus sound like he had superpowers. (SUPER WEREWOLF TO THE RESCUE! WITH HIS SIDEKICK, üBER PUP! AWWOOOOOOO!!!) Yeah, I know, I have problems…although that's not a bad fic idea…hmmm… As always, C&C is appreciated and encouraged.

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The kiss took almost a full minute to break, since Dumbledore was too busy unwrapping a lemon drop and then 'awwwwww'-ing at the scene to call 'cut'. Sirius was, surprisingly enough, laughing his arse off at the whole thing. Apparently, being over-protective of his godson didn't matter as much as embarrassing Snape. Remus remained quite calm, although he, too, seemed rather amused, but for different reasons. At some point during the scene both Harry and Severus had become aroused, and Remus, with his hyper-sensitive smelling capabilities, caught it. He couldn't help but wonder if either of the two would ever figure it out, and if they did, how Sirius would react.

Severus stuck by Harry's command and didn't use tongue during the kiss. He made it as chaste as humanly possible while keeping his hips as far away from Harry as he could manage. The last thing he needed was for the brat to realize the lump in his pants – he'd never hear the end of it. Besides, the brat would probably think that he was the cause of it, and that thought was absolutely intolerable…even if it were true. 

Harry, meanwhile, was utterly confused. He had an inexplicable erection and an odd frustration with the fact that Snape wouldn't open his damn mouth. He thought he should be happy with that – Snape had finally listened to him, something he'd never done before, not even when they were working together during the war. So why did he feel a strange sense of irony that _now_ would be the time that the greasy git decided to listen to him?

Finally, Dumbledore got around to calling 'cut', and the kiss broke. Severus and Harry quickly turned away from each other, Harry sporting a blush that could put the Weasley hair to shame. Severus, however, maintained an unreadable expression as he marched over to the headmaster and demanded that his wand be returned to him (it had been confiscated after the fourth time he'd used 'jelly-legs' on Black, which he insisted had been only in self-defense) so that he could promptly commit ritualistic suicide. Dumbledore pointed out that he really didn't need his wand for that.

"I want to die happy, so I'm taking Black with me to hell," Severus explained calmly.

Meanwhile, a still confused and blushing Harry was quickly surrounded by his two best friends and his godfathers. Ron had a look of sympathetic disgust on his face, Hermione just looked sympathetic, Sirius was still wiping the tears from his eyes and composing himself from his bout of hysterical laughter, and Remus…Harry found Remus's knowing look just a tad unsettling.

"Hey, are you alright, mate? He didn't try anything, did he?" Ron asked. Harry rolled his eyes.

"Did it _look_ like he tried anything?" he replied, sighing quietly in what seemed like relief to everyone else but Remus. "Well, at least it's over."

"For now," Remus pointed out, smiling slightly. "Just remember, this was only your first rehearsal. And from what I understand, there will be plenty more scenes like that one." He shook his head. "You're not quite done yet."

"Moony, don't scare him like that!" Sirius scolded as Harry's eyes went as wide as dinner plates. He turned to Harry. "Don't worry, Harry, if the greasy git tries to do anything, I'll take care of him." He had an odd gleam in his eye that made Harry a little nervous.

"Uh…right. Thanks, Padfoot," Harry replied a little shakily.

"Well, if you four are quite through," Hermione piped up, "dinner is in half an hour. If you want to go get cleaned up, then we should probably go now."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Dinner was an interesting affair, full of sympathetic glances being cast at Harry by almost everyone but the Slytherins. Their sympathy was directed solely at their Head of House. Poor guy, having to kiss _Potter_, of all people.

Harry, meanwhile, kept shooting glances up to the Staff Table. The casual observer would think he was looking at one of his godfathers; however, if one looked closely, he would see that his gaze was directed not at Sirius nor at Remus, but at one Severus Snape. It was probably a good thing, then, that no one was paying close attention to what Harry was looking at.

Severus, however, was fully aware of the fact that Harry was staring at him, and it was making him awfully uncomfortable. He tried glaring at the boy a couple of times, but that didn't seem to do any good. The boy just kept right on staring. Severus imagined that he must have scarred the boy for life, then, and he was in a state of shock. Yes, that was it. Perhaps if he left the room, the boy would snap out of it. He wasn't really all that hungry anyway, so he quickly stood and made for his rooms, very much resembling a bat out of hell.

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	7. Track 6

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Harry Potter Does Gravitation

Chapter 6

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Harry noticed as Snape got up and left the Great Hall. He did need to talk to the man in private, and this seemed to be the perfect opportunity. Steeling himself, he rose from the table and made to follow Snape when a hand on his shoulder stopped him. He spun around to find himself face-to-face with Draco Malfoy, who was glaring daggers of pure, undying hatred at him.

"Malfoy," Harry said, "is this important, or can you let go of my arm?"

Draco blinked, then let go of Harry's arm as he dropped the arch-nemesis routine. "Oh, right. Sorry about that," he apologized. "Anyway, the were…erm, Professor Lupin told me to tell you and Thomas that we're going to be starting our music lessons right after dinner." A curious look crossed his face. "I don't know why he sent me, though, when he…Potter, are you listening to me?"

Harry's eyes had glazed over and h had begun muttering incoherently to himself. Draco could occasionally pick out the word "singing", but that was about all he understood. Quickly glancing around, he noticed that nearly the entire Great Hall was staring at the two of them.

"I swear, I didn't do it!" Draco announced before anyone could lay the blame on him.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

After dinner, Draco and Dean dragged a still-babbling Harry up to Professor Lupin's classroom for their first music lesson. When they got there, though, the only ones in the room were Snape and a big, black dog. Snape had the dog at wand-point as the dog growled and gnashed his teeth viciously at him. Neither seemed to notice the presence of the three boys until Draco and Dean unceremoniously deposited Harry on the floor, where he sat and continued to babble incoherently. Sirius quickly changed back and knelt beside his godson.

"What the hell happened to him?" Snape asked, torn between concern and amusement.

Draco shrugged. "I'm not really sure. One minute I was telling him about our music lesson, the next he's like this."

Sirius sighed deeply. "That's not altogether surprising. He always gets very anxious when he has to sing." He looked at his godson mournfully. "He has no self-esteem when it comes to music, and is convinced that he can't carry a tune."

"…Can he?" Dean asked, and Sirius gave him a funny look.

"How the hell should I know? Every time Remus or I asked him to sing, he'd get like this."

"Oh, this should be rich," Severus remarked and sat on a desk. Sirius glared at him and was about to say something when Remus walked in.

"Oh, dear," he said upon seeing Harry's condition. Pulling out some of his handy chocolate that he carried around with him everywhere, he broke off a piece and stuck it into Harry's mouth. It seemed to work, since Harry immediately stopped babbling in favor of chewing and swallowing. Blinking, he looked around the room.

"Where am I? And why am I on the floor?" he asked, deeply confused.

"You're in my classroom, Harry," Remus spoke up.

"And you're on the floor because you're bloody heavy," Draco added. Harry blinked.

"Oh."

"Harry, do you remember why you're here?" Sirius asked, looking into his godson's face. Harry seemed to think about it for a minute before realization seemed to dawn.

"Yeah, Draco said that we had to come here to…" he gulped, "…sing."

"Yes, indeed!" an enthusiastic Lupin confirmed as Sirius stood and helped Harry to his feet. "It'll be loads of fun, Harry! Won't it?" he added, shooting looks at the room's other occupants. Sirius, Dean, and Draco hurriedly agreed, but Severus just snorted. Remus shot him a quick glare before returning his attention to the boys. "So, are we all ready?"

Dean and Draco immediately nodded, but Harry whimpered. "Do I have to?"

"I'm afraid so, love," Remus replied, then smiled at Harry reassuringly. "But don't worry! It'll be fun, I promise!"

Harry looked at Remus warily. Severus stood and stretched. "Well, as riveting as all this is, I was on my way to my rooms before your mutt attacked me, Lupin, and so I think I'll be heading off now."

"Oh, Severus, wait," Remus stopped him. "I'm sorry, but I was actually hoping that you could help us, so I asked Siri to persuade you to join us."

Severus narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "What do you mean? Help you how?"

Remus smiled sheepishly. "Well, you see, Severus, ah, we're going to have to teach the boys to harmonize, and since Sirius can't carry a tune…"

"Hey!"

"Sorry, love. Anyway, everyone knows you're the only person who can really sing, so…"

"So you're trying to butter me up to get you to help you, is that it?" Severus furrowed his brow and glared at the three students. He sighed. "…Fine. But only if I get to be in charge."

"Now just a…"

"Siri, shhh. Okay, Severus, you have a deal," Remus agreed. Severus smirked evilly.

"Oh, this will be fun."

Harry whimpered.


	8. Track 7

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Harry Potter Does Gravitation

Chapter 6

A/N: Very short chapter here – I wrote it right before my first class of the morning (Statistics – yay…*deep sigh*). Anyway, rather than wasting space with a stupid author's note that really serves no purpose, let's get right to the story, shall we?

Disclaimer: Don't own Harry Potter. Or Gravitation. Pity me. (*cries*)

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"Let's start with scales," Severus said, turning to his three victims. "You do know what a scale is, don't you?" Three blank faces stared back at him. He sighed deeply. "For Merlin's sake…"

"A scale is a series of eight ascending notes, ending on the same note as it began but one octave higher," Remus explained. The boys still looked blank.

Sirius stepped in. "Here, you're going to have to show them what it I," he suggested, producing a tiny, brightly-colored xylophone from Merlin-knows-where. "Now come here, boys, and pay close attention." And with that, Sirius played the only major scale possible on a child's toy xylophone, humming along with each note and showing everyone just what Remus meant when he said that Sirius was hopeless when in came to singing. The poor man was completely tone deaf.

"Now that we've had that demonstration on how one should _not_ sound…" Severus said once Sirius had finished. Harry whimpered. He knew he sounded far worse than that. "…each of you are going to attempt a scale. Draco, you may start."

Draco took a deep breath before belting out a relatively decent attempt at a scale. Severus simply nodded his approval, then moved on to Dean. Dean's scale was just as good, if not better than Draco's. Finally, smirking evilly, Severus turned to Harry. "Go ahead, Potter."

Harry's eyes widened in horror and a whimper escaped his throat. He couldn't do this – not in front of Snape, of all people! He'd be utterly humiliated! Swallowing hard, he glared defiantly at the man. "You're not my mommy! You can't make me sing!" he declared. The other occupants of the room stared at him as though he'd lost his mind.

Severus was the first to recover, and he advanced on Harry, leaning in so that their noses nearly touched. "I may not be your mother, Potter," he breathed, "but I most certainly can make you sing."

Harry whimpered and stumbled back. Severus smirked. "Now honestly, Potter, you couldn't possibly be any worse than your godfather," he drawled.

"Hey!"

"Shh, Siri, Severus knows what he's doing…"

"Like hell he does!"

Neither Harry nor Severus seemed to notice the couple bickering in the background, although Draco and Dean seemed to find them very entertaining. "Or perhaps the great Harry Potter doesn't sing for free. Is that it? We lowly mortals aren't worthy of hearing your…"

"Shut up! That's not true and you know it!" Harry snapped. Severus raised an eyebrow.

"Prove it," he said simply, then stood back with his arms crossed. Harry swallowed hard.

"Fine," he muttered, then took a deep breath. Suddenly a beautiful tenor voice rang out, forming into a perfect scale. Everyone stared at Harry in shock just as the last note broke off. He glared at Severus. "Happy now? I've completely humiliated myself – I hope you're satisfied," he huffed.

Remus was the first to snap out of it this time, annd he hurried over to Harry and folded him into a bone-crushing embrace. "That was amazing, Harry!" he whispered into his godson's ear. "You have the most incredible voice I've ever heard! You could even give Professor Snape a run for his money!"

Soon Harry was surrounded by everyone but Snape, asking him where he learned to sing like that and what the hell gave him the idea that he couldn't sing. Severus, however, simply went and sat down at Remus's desk, a dazed expression on his face and a raging hard-on in his pants. He swallowed hard and willed the erection away before standing up once again and clearing his throat.

"I suppose that will have to do," he simply said, not allowing his gaze to fall on Harry. 

"Well, I think that's enough for one night," Remus spoke up, smelling Severus's arousal. "What do you say, Professor Snape?"

"I have grading to do. I'm leaving," he replied, and left.

"I guess that means we're done," Dean said. Harry breathed a sigh of relief.

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	9. Track 8

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Harry Potter Does Gravitation

Chapter 8

A/N: Sorry this took so long getting out, but I just recently switched majors from music to english, so I've been doing insane amounts of writing for the department head so that I can bypass the freshman courses. Ugh. Anyway, this chapter is…well, it was written at 2am under the influence of sleep deprivation, insomnia, and very bad writer's block, but I desperately wanted to get another chapter out on at least one of my stories since I haven't posted for so long. As for Mortal Coil, my writer's block is absolutely killing it. I can't even START chapter 19 in a way that I feel is appropriate without just chucking it out because it really, really sucks. So terribly sorry about that, all. Hopefully, I'll manage to churn something out over the Easter holidays (well, one can dream, can't she?). Anyway, deliberate slashiness here (I think that's the word I was looking for…not sure, falling asleep at computer…), so if that's not your thing, well, HEADS UP! Enough of my inane ramblings. Onward!

o/` yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum…o/` (I have no idea where that came from…)

Disclaimer: Sooo not mine.

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It was three days after that first music lesson that Harry finally worked up the courage to speak to Professor Snape. Thus, Harry found himself standing in front of the door to Snape's office immediately after dinner, fist raised and poised to knock. It then occurred to him that he had no idea what he was going to say. Obviously, "Hey, Professor, up for another round of tonsil Quidditch?" was out of the question – Snape would cut him up into itty-bitty pieces and use him for potions ingredients. Besides, it wasn't as though Harry _wanted_ to kiss the git again. What an absurd notion! That was when he realized that there really hadn't been anything in particular he'd wanted to talk with the Head of Slytherin about – he'd just wanted to talk, period. The thought bothered Harry, and he was just about to run away to Gryffindor Tower with his tail between his legs when the door opened. There stood Snape, in all his snarky glory.

"Were you planning on standing out here all night, or were you going to knock?" he asked, smirking. Harry blushed.

"Um, I just wondered if we could talk, sir," Harry replied quietly, feeling like a total arse.

A strange look flit across Snape's face, but it was gone before Harry had a chance to guess its meaning. Silently, the man stepped aside, granting the Gryffindor entrance.

Harry stepped into the office and looked around. It looked pretty much the same as it always did, complete with jars of creepy, unidentifiable things that Harry really didn't want to know anything about. He heard Snape close the door behind him.

"Sit," the older man commanded, and Harry obeyed, taking one of the rather uncomfortable seats in front of Snape's desk. Snape, however, remained standing. It reminded Harry rather uncomfortably of all the times he'd gotten into trouble, and he squirmed a bit. 

A long silence passed. Finally, Severus ran out of patience. "You said you wanted to talk, Potter. Now talk."

Harry swallowed hard, averting his gaze. "Well, sir, it's about what happened at rehearsal on Saturday…"

'Oh, Merlin, this can't be good,' Severus thought to himself. "What about it?"

"Well, sir, it's just that…you, um…"

"Out with it, Potter!"

"You didn't use tongue!" Harry blurted out before he could stop himself. 'Oh, way to go, Potter. You're a sodding genius, you know that?'

Severus stared at Harry for a moment before shaking his head. "Excuse me?"

Harry swallowed again, cheeks burning in embarrassment. "Um, when you kissed me. You didn't use tongue. Why?"

Snape's eyes narrowed. "You came all the way down here to pester me over _that_?" he snapped.

Harry glared. "You could just answer the question, you know," he shot back.

Snape glared at Harry. "I hope you're not expecting some poetic nonsense about not wanting to corrupt the innocent, or other such rubbish. If so, then I'm afraid you'll be sorely disappointed. Besides, need I remind you that you were the one who made it very clear that you wanted it as chaste as possible?"

Harry suddenly got up and stood inches from Snape, still glaring. "And since when do you actually listen to me? And would it kill you to lay off on the sarcasm for once in your life? Greasy sod, what's your problem?"

Severus saw red. "My problem is _you_, Mr. Potter, and your complete disregard for authority, not to mention your tendency to ask incredibly stupid questions." A cold smirk formed on his face. "Tell me, Mr. Potter, what is the _real_ reason you came down here tonight? Surely you wouldn't waste an entire trip down to the dungeons just to ask something so pointless?" Harry's eyes shifted, and Snape's smirk grew smug. "So then, why are you down here?" He leaned forward. "Could it be you're looking for a repeat performance, with a little something extra?" he hissed in the boy's ear. Harry's eyes widened and he backed up a few steps. Severus snorted. "Honestly, you Gryffindors are all too predictable. How boring." He opened the door. "Well, if there is nothing else, Mr. Potter…"

Harry's eyes narrowed. If he didn't know better, he could have sworn Snape was challenging him to do something. The glint in those dark eyes certainly seemed challenging. And really, who was Harry to back down from a challenge? He was a Gryffindor, after all.

Before Severus could register what was happening, he found himself pressed against the once-again-closed door with Harry Potter's tongue down his throat and his hands kneading the firm flesh of Harry's arse. Then, just a suddenly as it began, it was over as Harry pulled away with a smug look on his face.

"Never challenge a Gryffindor by calling him predictable," the wretch advised, then pulled Snape away from the door, opened it, and strode out as though nothing had happened. His professor stared after him, bewildered and wondering at just what point he'd relinquished his control of the situation over to the brat.


	10. Track 9

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Harry Potter Does Gravitation

Chapter 9

Disclaimer: Not mine.

A/N: Just want to say thank you to all my reviewers…all my readers, really…for all their support. I'd list you all, but this far in…that would be a very long list. So let's just get on with the story, shall we?

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Harry was about halfway to Gryffindor Tower when realization finally struck him. He'd just willingly kissed Snape. No, worse than that – he'd practically sexually assaulted the man! He stopped short and leaned up against a wall, starting to hyperventilate. Snape was going to murder him. He was going to sneak into Gryffindor Tower in the middle of the night and kill Harry in his sleep.

He was still like that when Professor Lupin found him.

"Harry…Harry! Relax! You're going to make yourself pass out!" Remus said, shaking the seventh-year gently. It didn't help much, but Harry at least started breathing normally again. Unfortunately, he started babbling nonsensically to make up for it. Remus sighed in frustration before deciding to bring the distraught young man back to his and Sirius's rooms.

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"Harry? Harry, what happened?" Sirius asked as Remus led the deathly pale boy into their quarters.

"Guh," Harry replied. Sirius blinked twice and looked at Remus questioningly. His mate shrugged.

"This is pretty much how I found him," Remus said. Sirius frowned, turning his attention back to his godson. Suddenly, an idea struck him. 

"Did someone try to make you sing again, Harry?"

"Gah," Harry replied, shaking his head. Sirius frowned again.

"Well, then. I'm stumped."

"I'll go make some tea," Remus muttered before pattering off to the kitchenette.

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An hour and three cups of tea later, Harry finally spoke coherently.

"He's going to kill me," he said before lapsing into silence.

Sirius and Remus exchanged worried glances. "Harry, who is going to kill you?" Remus asked in his most soothing voice.

"Snape," Harry rasped. Sirius's expression turned murderous.

"What did the slime ball do to you, Harry? I'll take care of…" he began.

"Nothing. He didn't do anything," Harry broke in, his voice cracking. Remus gave him a puzzled look while Sirius looked at him skeptically.

"Then why do you think he's going to kill you, Harry?" Remus asked as Sirius took a sip of his tea.

"I kissed him," Harry replied, dazed. Sirius spat his tea out, showering poor Remus.

"You WHAT?!"

"Now, Siri, calm down, love. I'm sure there's a perfectly…"

"The bastard! I'll kill him! Taking advantage of Harry like that!"

"Siri…"

"He didn't take advantage of me," Harry mumbled. Sirius looked at him incredulously.

"Harry, now is really not the time to be protecting the git…"

"Padfoot, let Harry finish."

Harry swallowed hard. "I'm not trying to protect him. I…I kissed him, not the other way around. And now he's going to kill me."

Sirius looked at his godson with stunned disbelief. Remus forced himself not to smile as he took one of Harry's hands in both of his.

"…Was he any good?"

"REMUS!" Sirius's attention quickly shot over to his bonded. "What are you SAYING?!"

"Actually, he wasn't all that bad…"

"HARRY!" The animagus's attention returned to his godson, horrified.

Remus nodded knowingly. "I thought as much," he chuckled, then turned back to Sirius as he squeaked in horror. "Oh, relax, Siri. I'm not leaving you for him." Sirius's mouth opened and closed much like a fish's, emitting strange squeaking sounds. Remus shook his head, then turned back to Harry. "So, do you like him?"

Harry swallowed hard as Sirius groaned. "I…don't know." Remus nodded again. Sirius shook his head, and began muttering to himself.

"I must be dead. This must be hell. Or some sort of nightmare. This can't be real. This isn't happening. This isn't my Harry. This isn't my Moony. This isn't my life. This can't be real…"

Remus rolled his eyes, but decided to leave Sirius to his own devices for a little while longer while he took care of Harry. "Don't mind him. He just needs to get used to the idea." Suddenly, the werewolf stood and pulled Harry into a hug. "Our little Harry is all grown up!" he sniffled, petting the top of Harry's head. Harry looked up, bewildered.

"So, you don't hate me?" he asked timidly.

Remus laughed. "Of course not, Harry! Why would I hate you? Besides," and here his voice dropped to a conspiratorial whisper, "he does have a nice arse, doesn't he?" Harry blushed deeply and Sirius began to splutter. "So, why don't you give me all the details?"

"Remus, have you gone _mad_?" Sirius asked, but Remus ignored him.

Harry took a deep breath, and began telling his godfathers everything that happened from the moment he'd reached the dungeons to the time Remus had found him. He looked up when he was finished to see Remus looking thoughtful and Sirius looking downright traumatized. 

"So, you see why he's going to kill me?" Harry finished. Remus sighed, but nodded.

"For the record, I don't think he'll actually kill you, Harry," Remus said, still thinking. "Besides, he did kiss you back, didn't he?"

Harry blushed. "Well, it all happened very fast…"

"But not too fast for him to get his hands on your arse," Remus pointed out. Sirius very nearly began sobbing.

"My poor Harry…my poor, poor Harry…"

"Oh, Sirius, do be quiet," Remus scolded him. Harry looked between the two of them, then turned back to Remus.

"You really think he won't try to kill me in my sleep? You think it's safe for me to go back to the dormitory?"

Remus smiled. "Yes, I think it will be perfectly safe for you to return to the dormitory. And it is getting late…"

Harry nodded his understanding and made for the door. Before leaving, he turned back to his two godfathers and smiled. "Good night. Thank you," he said softly before stepping into the hall and closing the door behind him. Remus smiled wistfully.

"Remember when we were like that, Padfoot? …Padfoot?"

"…James is going to kill me."

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	11. Track 10

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Harry Potter Does Gravitation

Chapter 10

A/N: I should mention that it may be quite a while before the next chapter comes out. Why? Because the semester is pretty much over, so I probably will be losing my internet access for a while. I hope I'm wrong. 

Disclaimer: Don't own HP, don't own Gravi, but I do own an unhealthy obsession with Yuki and Ryuichi (not as a couple…as separate characters, you see).

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As it turned out, Remus was right. Snape hadn't tried to kill Harry. In fact, he seemed to be avoiding Harry altogether, something that Harry found nothing short of disconcerting. With no idea of just what Snape thought about that night, Harry became a nervous wreck by the time the second rehearsal rolled around.

This time he was accompanied down to the Great Hall by Sirius and Remus, having purposely met up with them at their chambers before Ron had even woken up. The redhead had kept on asking Harry why he was so jumpy, and Harry really didn't fancy explaining to his best friend that he'd willingly shoved his tongue down the school's most unpopular teacher's throat. Somehow, he didn't think it would have gone over too well.

"So, Harry, looking forward to today's rehearsal?" Remus asked him, attempting to make small talk. Sirius looked at him as though he had gone mad while Harry just sighed. 

"I don't know about that," he replied. "Snape is still avoiding me, so I don't think that this is going to be very pleasant."

" 'Pleasant' and 'Snape' don't belong together anyway," Sirius grumbled. He still wasn't thrilled with his godson's newfound attraction to someone he considered to be the greasiest, slimiest, nastiest git known to wizard-kind.

"Now, now, Sirius. Even Severus has his good qualities," Remus chided.

Sirius snorted. "Oh, yeah? Like what?"

"Like his very shapely arse," Remus replied, grinning evilly and causing Sirius to choke.

"Moony, I really wish you'd stop saying that. It's just…wrong," said Sirius.

"Ah, but it's true, Padfoot! There's no denying the truth!" Remus persisted.

Sirius shook his head. "There's just no arguing with you, is there? He said in exasperation just as they reached the Great Hall.

Not many other people had arrived yet; in fact, the only other occupant of the room was none other than Severus Snape himself, who groaned inwardly as he watched the young man who had recently begun invading his dreams enter, flanked by his two fairy god-canines. He sighed deeply and braced himself for the inevitable confrontation. 'Ah, here it comes,' he thought to himself as he saw Harry break away from the other two men and approach him. Severus found himself sorely tempted to just turn into a bat and fly away.

Harry walked over to Snape with great trepidation in his heart. Granted, he had Sirius and Remus with him, but there wasn't much that they could do from the other side of the Great Hall if Snape decided to hex him; even their reflexes weren't that good. He took a deep breath and halted a few feet in front of the surly professor.

"Good morning, sir," he said as steadily as he could, and hoped against hope that his voice hadn't really cracked on 'sir' as he thought it had.

"Potter," Snape acknowledged him with a curt nod, not trusting himself to say any more than that. At least the brat seemed as uncomfortable as he was.

A long, awkward silence passed before Harry finally decided that he needed to say something. "Um, sir? About the other night…" Snape tensed up. "Um…look, I'm really sorry, so please don't hex me!" Harry mentally slapped himself. That wasn't what he'd wanted to say!

Severus mentally sighed. So it _had_ been a fluke then – he should have known. What had given him the idea that Potter might actually find him desirable? That was as absurd as Lupin thinking he had a nice arse. "Apology noted, Potter," he replied flatly.

Harry bit his lip nervously. Clearly, the man was still angry with him. Harry sighed; he'd blown it. There was obviously no salvaging this situation. Time to leave, then. "Ah, thank you, sir," he said, then took one last glance at Snape and hurried back over to his godfathers.

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The rehearsal itself that day was awkward, to say the least. It wasn't so bad when Severus and Harry didn't have scenes together – those actually went quite smoothly. Unfortunately, the scenes where Severus and Harry _did_ have to act together were awful. Severus's acting was even more flat and emotionless than usual, and Harry was clearly a mess, constantly tripping on his lines, blushing, and being downright shy at the most inappropriate moments. No, things were not going well, and even the most unobservant members of the cast and crew noticed.

Eventually, the final scene rolled around. Harry was a mess, and not even Remus could dispel his nerves. Finally, after waiting nearly half an hour for Harry to get himself under control, a very irritated Severus had enough. He glided menacingly over to where Harry was being coaxed out of the corner by Lupin, pulled the werewolf aside, grabbed Harry by the collar, and forced the brat to look at him.

"Look, Potter, you're about as thrilled with this as I am, but if you don't stop acting like a spoiled little brat and get your arse over there so that we can finish this, I swear I will hex you from here to next week," he growled. He didn't notice as Black began advancing on him, nor did he notice Lupin holding the ex-con back. "Just remember, _you_ came to _me_, not the other way around, so stop acting like such a bloody _martyr_ and just do your damned job!"

"Shut up!" Harry snapped back, pulling out of Snape's grasp. "I'm _not_ acting like a 'martyr', and I sure as _hell_ didn't mean for that to happen when I went to see you, you slimy git! Maybe I'd be a little less terrified of doing the next scene if you'd stop being such a _bastard_ about everything!"

"B…bastard?! I have done _nothing_, Mr. Potter, to warrant being called a 'bastard'!" There were several snorts from students and professors alike. "If _anything_, I think I've been rather tolerant, considering your more recent behavior!"

"_My_ behavior? Last I checked, Snape, you were just as much a willing participant! I may have initiated it, but you were just as active, if not more so!" Quite a few confused glances shot across the room, but neither man noticed.

"It was _instinct_, Potter! Instinct! Don't make assumptions based solely on one incident!"

"I'm _not_ making assumptions!" By now, they were both yelling at each other at the top of their lungs. "I'm simply saying that you're just as guilty as I am! And 'instinct', Professor? Is that really the best excuse you can come up with?"

Severus growled. "I thought you said you weren't making any _assumptions_, Potter."

"I'm not," Harry retorted. "I'm simply analyzing the facts. But you're right, that can't be done with something that only happened once." And with that, Harry flung himself at Severus and brutally kissed him. Severus was slightly surprised, but quickly gave in to the kiss, parting his lips and sliding his tongue into Harry's already opened mouth. He shoved the shorter man up against the wall and began devouring him, his hands roaming along the impertinent brat's sides as Harry's arms wrapped themselves around his neck.

The other occupants of the Great Hall were stunned, save Remus (who was whistling and catcalling), Sirius (who was openly weeping), and Dumbledore (who was sucking on a lemon drop and cooing at the adorable scene). Eventually the two men had to come up for air, and so the kiss broke. They remained pressed against the wall, panting slightly as they looked at each other.

"…Are you ready to do the scene yet, Potter?" Snape finally whispered breathlessly, and Harry just nodded, dazed.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


	12. Track 11

**Harry Potter Does Gravitation**

Chapter 11

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   Sadly, all of Snape's efforts to get Harry back to work were in vain.  Production for the day had to halt due to the fact that an inordinate number of cast and crew members had to go to the Infirmary to be treated for shock.  Ron Weasley in particular was in rather bad shape, having taken to babbling incoherently with his eyes wide and unblinking.  Harry, however, despite being the good friend he was, didn't seem to take any notice as his best mate was carted off along with several other glassy-eyed students.  His attention was focused solely on Snape who, after remembering himself and his surroundings, had stalked off muttering something about hormonal teenagers and refused to even acknowledge Harry's pleas for him to come back.

   Harry looked dejectedly at the floor, still oblivious to the mayhem around him.  He'd really blown it this time.  And things seemed to be going so well, too…

   A hand clasped gently onto his shoulder and he looked up.  There stood Remus, looking at Harry apologetically.  Harry sighed as he felt another hand fall onto his other shoulder.  Turning his head, he saw Sirius trying to look supportive while drying his eyes at the same time.  It wasn't working very well, but it was the thought that counted.  Harry attempted a weak smile before deciding that it wasn't worth making the effort since both Sirius and Remus could see right through it.  Instead, he sank to the floor and buried his face in his hands, allowing the tears to silently fall.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

   It wasn't until much later when he was back in Remus and Sirius's rooms that he realized he'd actually cried, and in public, no less.  This mystified him, since despite the fact that he had indeed been upset, nothing had really warranted him crying like some little girl who'd just gotten her period for the first time and had no idea what it was.  He quickly pushed this thought to the side, however; he had far more important things to dwell on.

   "So, what do you think I should do now that I've made an utter tit of myself?" Harry asked his godfathers, who were sitting on either side of him on their couch.

   "I say forget the git!" Sirius piped up automatically, earning him a warning glare from Remus.  Harry slumped lower in his seat.

   "It's not that simple, Sirius…I mean, I wish I could just forget about him, but those eyes…that voice…" Harry trailed off.

   "…that arse," Remus added dreamily, and Sirius sent him a hurt look.  Remus, noticing the look on his mate's face, was quick to add, "Which, of course, has nothing on Sirius's."  This seemed to mollify his lover a bit, but Harry apparently wasn't too keen on discussing his godfather's hindquarters.

   "That's really not something I needed to hear," he pointed out, a note of discomfort in his voice.

   "Sorry," Remus quietly apologized, and a brief silence fell over the group.

   "So what am I supposed to do now?" Harry asked again, breaking the silence. Remus let out a soft sigh.

   "Honestly, Harry, I'm not sure.  I mean, do you just want to shag him…" Sirius began making strange strangling noises, "…or is there something more?"

   "Something…you mean, do I love him?" Harry asked.  Sirius choked on his own saliva.

   "Well, I was going to say 'fancy', but yes, that's pretty much what I meant," Remus confirmed.  Harry squirmed a little as Sirius tried to clear his air passages.

   "I…yes, I think I do.  Love him, I mean," Harry whispered.  "Is that bad?" he suddenly asked, looking up at Remus.

   Remus smiled warmly.  "Well, I wouldn't call it 'bad'," he replied teasingly, but then his smile faltered a bit.  "It's just…you're going to have a difficult time ahead of you if you decide to pursue this, Harry," he warned.  "Severus Snape does not open up easily, and even getting him to accept the idea that you really do fancy him will probably be quite hard."

   Harry's face took on a troubled look.  "So what you're saying is that I really have no chance with him."

   Surprisingly, it wasn't Remus, but Sirius who responded.  "That's not true, Harry.  It's just…you have to…"  He cleared his throat.  "You have to show him that this means more to you than just a…that you want it to be more than just…"

   "Shagging?" Harry supplied, and Sirius actually blushed.

   "Actually, I was going to say 'a purely physical relationship', but I suppose that'll do to be getting on with."  He cleared his throat again, avoiding the surprised look that Remus was sending his way.

   "So I have to prove that I fancy him, and that I'm not just in it for the sex, then…" Harry mumbled to himself, slowly getting to his feet.  He began pacing back and forth in front of his godfathers as he contemplated this.  Suddenly he stopped short and faced the two older men.  "How the hell am I supposed to do that?!"

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

   Harry laid on his four-poster in Gryffindor tower, silently staring at the ceiling and pondering his latest challenge.  Sirius and Remus hadn't been much help – they'd both agreed that if Harry really wanted to prove to Snape that he had feelings for the man, he'd have to come up with something on his own.  Harry was pretty sure that was just their way of covering up that they couldn't think of anything, either.

   Harry considered a direct confrontation, but the main problem with such an action was simply that Snape would not believe him.  He'd probably think it was some sort of joke or prank or something, and would slam the door in Harry's face.  No, Harry was pretty sure the direct approach was not the way to go.

   'Maybe I should do something traditional, like send him flowers,' Harry thought absently before quickly banishing the thought.  Considering the man's level of paranoia, that would probably be even worse than the direct approach.  'Argh!  Why does he have to be so difficult?' Harry ranted to himself.  There had to be something – anything – that he could do to enlighten the Potions master to Harry's feelings.  There just had to be!

   Suddenly an idea struck him.  Dumbledore.  Surely, Dumbledore would know!  Surely, Dumbledore of all people would hold the key!  Determined to speak to the headmaster first thing in the morning, Harry rolled over onto his side, pulled his covers up to his chin, and fell asleep, apparently not caring that it was only nine p.m. and that no one was in the dorm yet because most of them were still in the hospital wing.'

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Author's notes:  Yes, I realize it was a pretty short chapter.  Yes, I know it ended rather abruptly.  Yes, I know it has been a ridiculous amount of time since my last update, and that you all really deserve better than this.  I'm terribly sorry about that, but my only defense is that I've been incredibly busy lately, not to mention the fact that my internet access has become very, very limited.  I promise that I'll try for something better next time. 

   Meanwhile, I should probably mention that despite events that took place in OotP (rather specific ones that nearly drove me suicidal, I should say), this storyline will not be changing.  It's still going to continue on the path I have chosen for it, new canon be damned.  I started this before OotP, and dammit, that's a good enough excuse for me.  Besides, I really have no desire to rewrite this entire story just to compensate for a STUPID, SENSELESS EVENT (I'm trying to avoid spoilers here, people) that was WHOLLY UNNECESSARY (because I said so, JKR's plot be damned).  Sorry, still a bit sore about that stupid event that I keep making references to.  Anyway, enough of my senseless rambling.  My point is that the events of book 5 will in no way affect this story's plot line.  So, now that I've said my peace, I think I'd best be off for the time being.

Remember, R/R!

~Els-chan


	13. Track 12

****

Harry Potter Does Gravitation

Chapter 12

A/N: Typing with nails on really sucks. Forgive the typos - I'm still not quite used to this....

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Harry awoke the next morning to the stern face of Hermione Granger looming over him. "GAH!" he cried out, jumping. "'Mione, what are you doing in here?"

"I could ask you the same question," she replied snidely. Harry blinked at her in confusion. 

"Hermione, this is my dormitory. I live here with..."

"Don't get smart with me, young man," Hermione snapped, apparently channeling Mrs. Weasley. "You should be in the Infirmary explaining to poor Ron what that little display of yours yesterday was about! Maybe you haven't noticed, but he's been in there in shock since yesterday afternoon, along with Neville, Colin, the majority of the Slytherin fifth and sixth years, and more than a few Hufflepuffs!" She crossed her arms and glared at him. "And why weren't you there _last_ night? I would have thought that, with you two being _such good friends_ and all, you would have checked on Ron right away! Harry James Potter, what has gotten into you?"

Harry at least had the common sense to look humbled - taking on Hermione in full wrath was worse than fighting off four Voldemorts, and generally a task he left up to Ron. "You're right, Hermione," he said quietly, sounding as thoroughly cowed as he could manage. "I don't know what I was thinking. It's just..." he trailed off with his most pathetic look on his face.

"Yes? What is it?" Hermione prodded in a slightly more controlled tone. 

"Well, I really needed to talk to Remus and Sirius because..." He added in one of his best pitiful sniffles.

"Because?" Hermione asked, her arms uncrossing and her features softening to an expression of concern.

"Well, it's just that...I don't know how I'm going to explain this..." He squeezed a tear out of his eye and felt it roll down his cheek. Immediately, Hermione was sitting beside him on the bed, holding his hand. She always did have a weakness for 'pitiful' Harry.

"Explain what, Harry? What's wrong?" she asked gently.

Harry let out a deep, shuddering sigh. "I'm in love," he replied before burying his face in his hands to get a few sobs into the picture. He knew he should feel horrible, but this really was the only way to keep Hermione from lecturing him to death, and he was still rather upset about what had happened with Snape so he wasn't _really_ tricking her by laying on the drama; he was just exaggerating a bit, that was all.

"Oh, Harry," Hermione breathed before pulling him into a hug. "You can stop the fake crying now, you know," she added flatly. Harry blushed and immediately sobered, pulling away from her.

"Too over the top, huh?" he asked, and Hermione smirked.

"Only because I almost never see you actually cry, and certainly not over something like this," she confirmed, then smacked his arm. "Don't try to trick me like that ever again! I was really getting worried..."

"Well, in my own defense, I did cry yesterday after the rehearsal, and in public, no less," Harry pointed out, then quietly added, "though I don't know why. But," he continued in his normal tone," I really am upset about this whole situation with Snape. That much was true." This time the troubled expression on his face was genuine, and Hermione's heart melted.

"Oh, Harry," she sighed. "But that still doesn't mean that you can just forget about Ron, you know," she persisted.

"I know. Let's go down and see him right away," he said, throwing the covers off of himself and standing up to reveal nothing but a pair of baggy green boxers hanging off his hips and threatening to slide off at any moment, held up only by the rather obvious erection he was sporting.

"Oh, God..." Hermione squeaked, quickly turning away. "Get dressed first!"

"Huh?" Harry replied intelligently, then looked down, blushed, and gave a small nervous laugh. "Ah, right. Could you, um...?"  
"Of course!" Hermione squeaked again, and quickly hurried out of the boys' dormitory so Harry could get dressed.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Are you sure it's a good idea to tell him this?" Harry asked for the seventeenth time since he and Hermione had left Gryffindor Tower.

"Well, you're going to have to tell him _something_, Harry. It's not every day that one sees one's best friend snogging his least favorite teacher in front of the whole student body," Hermione replied. "You might as well just be honest with him."

"He's not going to be very happy about this," Harry said, stopping short a few meters away from the door to the Infirmary. "What if he hates me for this?" he asked, turning to Hermione with a panicked look on his face. Hermione rolled her eyes.

"He's not going to hate you, Harry," she repeated for the seventeenth time. "Now come on." She grabbed his arm and dragged him the rest of the way.

"Ron?" she quietly called out as they approached the red-head's bed. "Ron, are you awake?"

"Uh-huh," Ron replied, dazed. Hermione sighed and shook her head.

"Ron, Harry's here. He wants to talk to you," she continued. Suddenly Ron shot bolt upright, grabbed Harry by the collar, and pulled him in so close that their noses were almost touching.

"Are you trying to kill me, Potter?" he hissed, before releasing the other boy and flopping back down. "Trying to give me a bloody heart attack..." he muttered. "Better have a damned good reason..."

Harry gulped and looked at Hermione. 'Well, go on!' she mouthed, gesturing to the clearly traumatized boy on the bed. Biting his lip, Harry took a seat in one of the chairs by Ron's bedside.

"Um, Ron?" he began nervously. His friend looked at him expectantly, and Harry had to swallow the lump that suddenly appeared in his throat. His mouth went dry as he continued. "I have something I have to tell you..."

"You're WHAT?" Ron cried out after Harry told him the watered-down version of his feelings for Snape. 

"I'm, um, attracted to him," Harry repeated. "Is...um...is that going to be a problem?"

But Ron couldn't respond as his brain had decided to do him a favor and just shut down for a while. Harry shot an accusing glare at Hermione.

"I told you this wasn't a good idea."


	14. Track 13

Harry Potter Does Gravitation

Chapter 13

"_Spicy Marmalade, hum dee dum dum la dee day..._" Albus Dumbledore sang to himself as he sat alone in his office, toying with some little trinket or another.  It was a slow day and he was getting bored, something that generally resulted in quite a bit of trouble for those around him.  Luckily, just as a plan was beginning to form in that brilliant brain of his, a knock came at the door.  "Come in, Harry," he called, and lo and behold there stood Harry Potter on the other side of the door.

"Hello, Professor," the young man said, stepping into the office and closing the door behind him.  "Do you have a minute?"

"I have quite a few minutes, my dear boy.  Please, have a seat," he replied, gesturing to the overstuffed chair on the other side of his desk.  He waited a moment while Harry got comfortable.  "Lemon drop?" he offered.

"No, thank you, sir," Harry replied politely.  "I..."

"Fizzing whizbee?"

Harry blinked then shook his head.  "No thanks, sir.  I..."

"How about a nice chocolate frog?"

"Sir, I really..."

"Cauldron cake?"

"No, really, sir, that's..."

"Ah!  I know!  What about a nice hot fudge brownie sundae?"

"No, thank you, Headmaster," Harry replied firmly.  "I just came here to..."

"Spot of tea, then?" the persistent old coot interrupted, and Harry had to fight desperately not to scream.  If that's what it would take...  "Why, thank you, Professor.  That would be lovely."

"Wonderful!" Dumbledore positively beamed at him before setting himself to the task of preparing two cups of tea.  Harry sighed in resignation as the headmaster handed him his cup.  "Now, my dear boy, you were saying?"

"Right," Harry said, regaining his composure.  "I have a bit of a problem, sir, and I was wondering if you could help me with it..."

*~*~*~*~*

"Professor Snape, you say?" Dumbledore said thoughtfully as Harry took a sip of his tea.  "Yes, he does have a nice arse, doesn't he?"  Harry choked and spat out his tea.  Dumbledore Dumbledore shot him a concerned look as he wiped his mouth on his sleeve.

"Sorry, sir," Harry apologized quietly, more than a little disturbed.  "I just wasn't expecting that..."

"Quite all right, my boy," Dumbledore assured him, and Harry smiled weakly.  "Now, as to this problem of yours..."

"Yes?" Harry asked, instantly perking up.

"...I'm afraid it's something you'll just have to solve on your own," Dumbledore finished.  Harry visibly deflated.

"But, sir..."

"Now, now, Harry," Dumbledore stopped him, "I know that Professor Snape can be a bit...difficult...at times, but nothing is really worth having if you don't have to work for it, isn't that right?"  Harry opened his mouth to speak, but Dumbledore continued.  "Besides, wooing someone needs to come from the heart.  It will mean more if you do this on your own."

Harry's mouth opened and shut so that he very much resembled a landed fish.  Finally, he gained enough control over his motor functions to respond.  "I see what you mean, sir," he replied, even though he really didn't see at all.  "Ah...thank you."

"You're quite welcome," Dumbledore said.  "Let's chat again sometime, Harry," he added as his student stood to leave.  

"Ah, yes, of course, sir," Harry agreed before hastily making his escape.  That hadn't helped at all!  And Dumbledore had been his last hope, too...now what was he supposed to do?

After his disastrous discussion with the headmaster, Harry decided he needed time to think.  That's how he found himself thirty minutes later sitting on his broom high above the Quidditch pitch.  He sighed deeply.  Dumbledore had said that whatever it was that he decided to do, it had to come from the heart.  But what the hell could he do for Snape that came from the heart and that the man wouldn't outright reject?  Dumbledore knew how difficult Snape could be!  Why couldn't he have just given him a little hint?

"Potter!  Oi, Potter!" he heard a voice call him, shaking him out of his reverie.  Slowly, he blinked and looked from left to right.  No one there...  "Idiot, I'm right here!"  Harry blinked again then spun his broom around to look behind him.  Nothing.  Maybe he was going mad...  "Below you, you moron!  Look below you!"  Blinking one more time, Harry looked down.  There, standing on the soft grass of the pitch, was Draco Malfoy.

"Malfoy?" he called down.  "That you?"

"No, it's Ginny Weasley.  Of course it's me, you ignorant bastard!  Now get your arse down here!" Malfoy shouted back up at him.  "We've got another music rehearsal!"

Harry groaned and suddenly felt very weak.  He gripped his broom tightly as he descended to the ground.  Once he'd landed safely, he looked at Malfoy.  "Hey, I thought you said you were Ginny!"

Malfoy rolled his eyes.  "Try not to be a total retard for a moment, will you, Potter?  We have to be in the were...in Lupin's classroom in ten minutes, and I don't have time to put up with your stupidity."  Draco looked at his watch and cursed.  "Make that five minutes."

"Five minutes?  How are we going to make it there in only five minutes?" Harry asked helpfully, earning him a glare.

"Well, Potter, I guess we'll just have to run, won't we?" Draco replied, then turned and began sprinting back toward the castle.  Harry watched him go, shrugged, and then mounted his broom again.  With the staircases being as unreliable as they were, there was no guarantee that running would get him there in time.  No, there was only one way to ensure that he wouldn't be late for rehearsal.

He just wouldn't go.

He'd only been back in the air for a minute when he noticed Draco once again standing under him and yelling.  Sighing deeply, he landed once more.  "Now what is it?" he asked the blonde.

Draco granted him a full-blown Slytherin Death Glare of the Basilisk.  "What is it?  I'll tell you!  If you don't show up, _on time_, _I'm_ going to get in trouble!  That's what!"  He looked down at his watch and cursed again.  "Potter, give me your broom."

"What?  No!" Harry cried, holding his broom tightly to his chest.  "Get your own!"

Draco closed his eyes and took a deep breath.  "The only way we're going to make it up there in time is if we fly.  Now give me your broom," he explained slowly as if to a young child. 

Harry narrowed his eyes.  "Fine.  We'll fly.  But no one steers my broom but me, understood?"

Malfoy gritted his teeth.  "All right," he agreed through his clenched jaws.  "But let's hurry since we only have," he checked his watch again, "two and a half minutes to get there, and I'm sick of wasting time."

"Get on, then," Harry replied, mounting his broom.  "And hold on tight," he added after feeling Malfoy slide on behind him.

"Hold on?  Hold on to what?" Malfoy demanded, and Harry rolled his eyes.

"To me, you berk," he growled back.  "Unless, of course, you fancy falling off the broom and plunging to your death."  Malfoy gave an indignant snort but said nothing as he slid his arms around Harry's waist.  "All right, then, here we go," Harry muttered and kicked off the ground.

Steering a broomstick with two people on it was quite a bit different from steering with only oneself as the passenger.  For one thing, Malfoy's weight was throwing him off balance because he insisted on keeping a nice-sized distance between them, thus weighing down the back of the broom.  That imbalance was also forcing him to slow down, something they couldn't really afford since they had to get all the way to the other side of the castle.  'Well, there's only one thing for it, then...'  "Malfoy, you need to slide up against me."

"WHAT?" Malfoy cried out, apparently horrified.  "Look, Potter, just because _you_ may be into that sort of thing..."

"Shut up!  I mean you're weighing down the back of the broom and slowing us down!  If you slide up, I can get us there faster!" Harry snapped back.  Again, Malfoy said nothing, but Harry could feel the arms around his waist tighten as Malfoy's chest pressed into his back and... 'Oh, my God...'  "Malfoy, that had better be your wand I'm feeling..." he muttered to himself, quietly enough that Draco couldn't hear.

They made it to the window of the DADA room with only seconds to spare.  Luckily, Sirius had left it open, saying he'd needed a "breath of fresh air", and they flew right in much to the surprise of the other four occupants of the room.  Once they landed, Dean and Sirius congratulated them on their stylish entrance while Remus went over to his desk to shuffle through the sheet music.  Snape's reaction, however, was quite the shocker for Harry.  The professor was glaring, not at him, but at Malfoy.  And not just any glare, either – it was the full- blown Slytherin Death Glare of the Basilisk, and Harry decided that Snape's was a hell of a lot more effective than Malfoy's.  In fact, Malfoy jumped off of the broom so fast that his leg got tangled up in the handle and he fell flat on his face, nearly taking Harry with him.

"How nice of the two of you to join us," Snape remarked coldly, still glaring at Malfoy.  "I certainly hope that this little rehearsal of ours didn't interfere with any of your other... 'activities'," he added, and Harry gulped.  Oh, no...what if Snape was getting the wrong idea?  Surely he couldn't believe that Harry would go off with a wanker like Draco Malfoy?  Then again, he supposed that is was no less unbelievable than the idea that he wanted Snape.  But he _did_ want Snape, that was the difference!  And he'd been trying to show the man just that!  And now he'd gone and blown it...Damn it!

"Harry?  Harry, are you listening?" Remus was asking.  Harry looked up and blinked.  "I was saying that we were going to pair off so that you could learn the lyrics to your songs and get the pronounciation down."

Harry's eyes suddenly lit up.  "You mean no singing?"

Remus chuckled – a warm, throaty sound.  "No singing.  Not tonight, anyway."  Harry's smile could have lit up an entire city.  It faded, however, when Remus continued.  "So if you wouldn't mind working with Professor Snape..."

"Pro...Professor Snape?"  Harry whispered, panicked.  "But…I don't…He doesn't want to work with me!"

Remus smiled at his surrogate godson reassuringly.  "Don't worry, Harry.  Everything will be fine."  He bent a little closer to whisper into Harry's ear.  "Hopefully, this will give you a chance to work out some of your differences."  He pulled back and gave Harry a gentle push in Snape's direction.  "Go on, now – I'm sure you'll do just fine."  And with a conspiratorial wink, he turned his attention over to Dean Thomas.

Harry swallowed hard and walked over to the stoic professor, who was still shooting the occasional dirty look over at Malfoy.  "Ah, sir?  Re...Professor Lupin said we'd be working together?"

Snape shifted his gaze over to Harry, and though his expression didn't change Harry thought he saw some of the malice leave the older man's eyes.  "So it would seem, Mr. Potter," Snape replied, averting his eyes to the papers in his hands.


	15. Track 14

****

Harry Potter Does Gravitation

Chapter 14

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"No, no, no! Bloody hell, Potter, this isn't all that difficult!" Snape ranted as Harry butchered the lyrics for the umpteenth time. "Honestly, it's in _English_, for crying out loud! How can you not pronounce 'Smashing blue' correctly?"

"I'm sorry, sir," Harry mumbled, staring down at his hands in shame. He was trying - really, he was - but he was so nervous working with Snape that he just couldn't seem to get it right.

Snape sighed. "Fine, let's just...let's try it again." He handed Harry the lyrics. "Now, it's 'Whoa-oh, Smashing Blue', not 'Oooooh, Smarshing Blow'. Try to get it right this time, will you?"

"Yes, sir," Harry replied, looking down at the lyrics in his hand. "Whoa-oh, smashing blue, whoa-oh." He grinned. "I got it!"

"Bully for you, Potter," Snape replied, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. "Now, can we move on to the actual Japanese?"

"Yes, sir," Harry replied, still grinning like an idiot.

"Good. Now, this next word is pronounced 'kah-wah-ee-tah'. Do you think you can manage that?"

Harry looked at the lyrics then took a deep breath. "'Kay-way-tah'." He looked up to see the man shaking his head, clearly frustrated. 

"Weren't you _listening_, Potter? If you'd just _listen_ when I pronounce it for you, we wouldn't be having this problem!"

"Sorry, sir," Harry mumbled again. He hated this almost as much as he hated singing. Here he was, making a complete and utter tit of himself in front of Snape, _again_, and all he could do was apologize. Damn it, why did it have to be so _hard_?

"Potter, focus," Snape commanded. "Now, listen carefully. It's 'kah-wah-ee-tah', not 'kay-way-tah'. 'Kah-wah-ee-tah'. Say it slowly first."

"'Kah'...'Kah-wah-ee-tah'," Harry repeated. Snape nodded in approval. 

"Better. Now try to speed it up a bit."

"'Kah-wah-ee-tah'...'Quite-ah'," Harry said, then looked up at Snape, who had a small frown on his face.

"Close. Much better than your earlier attempt. Just try not to slur the syllables together like that. It's 'kawaita', not 'quite-ah'."

"'Kawaita'...like that?" Harry could have sworn he saw a tiny smile grace Snape's features, and he blushed.

"That will do," Snape replied indifferently, which Harry knew was high praise considering its source. "Now for the next word - 'tsumori'..."

"'Sumori'," Harry tried. Snape sighed.

"Not quite. If you would _wait_, I would explain that the first syllable is 'tsu', not 'su', and is pronounced differently. Now listen - 'tsu'. Not 'su', but 'tsu'."

"'Su'," Harry tried again, and Snape shook his head. 

"No, no, no! 'Tsu'. Not 'su'. You have to start it with your tongue up against the back of your upper set of teeth. 'Tsu'."

Harry frowned, then tried again. "'Tsu'...is that it? 'Tsumori'." He grinned broadly when Snape nodded. He'd gotten it! "'Kawaita tsumori'," he tried. He laughed - he was finally getting it! "'Kawaita tsumori'!" he declared loudly, causing the other four people in the room to turn and stare at him. He turned back to his teacher only to see him covering his eyes with his hand.

"Are you quite through now?" Snape asked Harry, lowering his hand to glare at him. Harry blushed and nodded. "Good. Then we can move..."

"_GARASU no BEDDO ni toraware no MOTION Tesaguri de shukujo wa kamikudaku..._" Dean Thomas rattled off to the pair's left while Lupin looked on with a broad smile.

"That's excellent work, Dean. We'll have this song down in no time," he praised his student. Harry suddenly felt very stupid and inadequate.

"Excuse me," he mumbled, and headed for the door.

"Where do you think you're going, Mr. Potter? You're nowhere near done yet!" Snape called after him. Harry paused for a moment, then just shook his head and left without saying a word.

Sirius glared at Snape. "What the hell did you do to him?" he demanded.

Severus sneered. "Apparently, the great Harry Potter can't handle being surpassed by one of his inferiors," he retorted, crossing his arms across his chest.

Remus frowned. "But that doesn't make any sense, Severus. With the translation charm on him, he shouldn't be having any problems..." Seeing a look of guilt suddenly cross Snape's face, Remus realized what the problem was. "You never put the charm on him, did you?"

Snape turned away, refusing to meet the werewolf's eyes. "Perhaps I did forget...I am only human, after all..."

"You _idiot_!" Sirius raged while the two remaining students looked on. "How could you have forgotten the key component to this entire exercise?" He growled, then headed for the door. "I'm going after him..."

"No, Sirius," Remus spoke up, his eyes not leaving Snape. "Let Severus go after him." He gave Snape an expectant look.

"...Oh, very well," Severus said after a long pause and headed out the door in search of Harry.

Sirius gave his lover a wary look. "I hope you know what you're doing, Remus," he muttered. Remus just smiled sunnily at him before going back to work with Dean.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Harry had already made it to the nearest bathroom and had barricaded himself into a stall. "_Kawaita tsumori_, my arse," he growled as he threw a roll of toilet paper over the door. "I guess I really am just as stupid as Snape says...can't even pronounce the English part right...how pathetic..." He sat down on the toilet seat, resting his face in his hands. "It's no wonder he doesn't want to put up with me. I'm useless and pathetic, and I can't seem to do anything right..."

"Self-depreciation really doesn't suit you, Potter," a familiar silky baritone said from the other side of the door, and Harry froze.

"How long have you been standing there?" he asked quietly, not daring to move a muscle.

"Long enough," came the response. "Do you think you could come out of there? I prefer being able to see the person I'm speaking to."

Harry hesitated for a moment before unhooking the lock and slowly opening the door. Standing on the other side was Severus Snape, arms crossed and an unreadable expression on his face. Harry silently met his gaze as he stepped out of the stall.

"Lupin asked me to come find you," Severus began, averting his eyes. "Apparently, the reason you were having so much trouble was because I had...forgotten to place the translation charm on you before we began." He squirmed uncomfortably. "So, I guess...Ishouldapologize," he muttered, still not looking at Harry. 

Harry got a sudden warm feeling with those words. He couldn't remember Snape actually apologizing, especially not to him. He smiled softly at his professor. "I'm sorry, too."

Severus didn't bother to ask what Harry was sorry for. "Are you ready to go back, then?" he asked instead, and Harry nodded. Without thinking, Severus held out his hand for Harry, who took it, and they left the bathroom together.


	16. Track 15

****

Harry Potter Does Gravitation

Track 15

A/N: Hmm, maybe I should have cast Sirius as K and Draco as Rage (from the Gravitation manga – if you don't get this, don't worry. It's not important.). Also, for those non-japanese speaking people out there:

Daisuki = I like/love you.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Harry and Severus returned to the DADA classroom a few minutes later, having managed (through some blind chance of fate) to avoid passing anyone in the halls. The sight that greeted them upon their return was one of utter chaos.

Upon reflection, it really was Remus's own fault that his classroom was very nearly demolished. Common sense, after all, would say that pairing Sirius up with a Malfoy for anything could really end in nothing but disaster. In fact, the only thing that could produce worse results would be pairing Sirius with Severus Snape, and even that was debatable. Therefore it should have come as no surprise that upon their return, Harry and Snape found Remus and Dean hiding behind Remus's overturned desk-cum-shield while Sirius and Draco pointed two objects that very much resembled bazookas at one another.

"Say one more thing about my mother, Black, and I swear I'll…"

"Now, is this really any way to be treating your older cousin, young man?"

"Psst!" Remus hissed, beckoning Harry and Severus over. "Take cover!" he mouthed when they didn't immediately respond.

Severus quickly dragged Harry over to join the other two behind the desk. The boy had a worrying gleam in his eye that looked an awful lot like the one he got just before he was about to leap headfirst into a dangerous situation, and Snape really didn't fancy having to clean up his remains afterward.

"What the hell happened? I couldn't have been gone for more than ten minutes!" Severus whispered harshly to Remus, who looked at him incredulously.

"You really have to ask?"

Harry, meanwhile, was trying to get a better look at what was going on. His eyes widened when he saw what the two men had slung over their shoulders. "Oh, my God…are those what I think they are?" he asked, turning to Dean. His fellow Gryffindor mutely nodded. "But…but where'd they…?"

"We don't know," Remus cut in, watching Sirius and Draco nervously. "Quite frankly, I'm not entirely sure I want to know. Sirius just reached into his pants and…"

"Okay, okay! I don't want to know, either!" Harry hurriedly declared.

"The question is, now what do we do?" Severus muttered, still clutching Harry's hand tightly just in case the brat got it into his head to jump mindlessly into the middle of things, as he was wont to do.

"That's it!" Draco suddenly cried, aiming his weapon directly at Sirius.

"Oh, God, get down!" Remus cried, pulling Harry and Dean down beside him as Severus ducked. There was a loud boom followed by the sounds of shattering glass. Then, silence.

The four men behind the desk peered over to survey the damage. The windows were shattered, the wall had great burn marks all over it, and a very singed Sirius was glaring at Draco, bazooka still pointed at the blonde Slytherin, who looked incredibly shaken.

"You weren't supposed to actually fire, you idiot," Sirius growled. "Now look at the mess you've made."

"I…you…but…" Draco squeaked, looking back and forth between the obliterated windows and his slightly blackened, but otherwise unharmed cousin.

"You know, I have half a mind to actually speak to that wench you call a mother about all of this. Despite all of her numerous faults, I know she wouldn't approve of such reckless behavior," Sirius continued. "It's unbefitting of a Slytherin, after all, or so my mother always used to tell me. Hell, you could have killed someone!" He shook his head. "Honestly, what the hell were you _thinking_?"

"I…I just…" Draco stuttered, dropping the bazooka carelessly to the floor, causing the others to wince. "I didn't…you…"

"Your behavior today has been nothing short of disgraceful," Sirius ranted on. "You have shamed the house of Black, and I don't appreciate having my job taken away like that! Now, go to your room right now and think about what you've done! Go!" Sirius ordered, pointing to the door. Draco, pale and shaking, ran from the room, apparently forgetting that Sirius was supposed to be his most-hated relative and certainly not someone he should be taking orders from.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Despite his protests that he was fine, Remus insisted that Sirius see Madam Pomfrey. "After all," he'd said, "you can't really expect me to believe that you're just fine and dandy after having a large projectile weapon shot at you point-blank." Eventually he managed to bribe the Animagus, although with what Harry didn't know. Judging from the blush and excited look on Sirius's face, he didn't think he wanted to know either.

Since Dean had left shortly before Harry's godfathers, Harry soon found himself alone in the charred classroom with Snape, who was making a point of not looking at Harry. Harry decided he would use this time alone with his professor to his advantage. He screwed up all of his courage before reaching over and placing a hand on the taller man's shoulder. He felt Snape stiffen. "Sir?"

"Yes, Mr. Potter?" Snape replied, still not facing Harry.

"I don't like Draco." Harry mentally slapped himself. Where the hell had that come from? Why had he said something so absurdly inane? Why, why, why?

Snape snorted. "Is that so? I never would have guessed." He turned and finally looked at Harry, taking in the younger man's flushing cheeks and anxious expression. "Well, Potter, charming as this conversation of ours has been…"

"_Daisuki_!" Harry suddenly cried out, and Snape realized he'd forgotten to remove the translation charm he'd placed on the boy shortly before they'd returned to Lupin's classroom. He, of course, wasn't familiar with that particular word, as the extent of his Japanese covered death, destruction, and muggle business terms. For all he knew, the brat could have been swearing at him. In fact, he wouldn't put it past him to do just that…

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that, Mr. Potter," he said quietly. "Now, if you would please step aside, I have a traumatized student to attend to." With that, he swept out of the room, leaving a confused and downright devastated Harry behind him.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


	17. Track 16

****

It's Gravitation

Track 16

*~*~*~*

Harry was lying on his bed, curled into a ball and sniffling when Ron, finally freed from the Infirmary, entered. He looked at Harry, then grabbed a pillow and whacked Harry in the head with it.

"_Itai_..." Harry groaned, sitting up. "What the hell was that for, Ron-_kun_?" he demanded, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.

Ron stared at him. "Harry, why are you talking like that?"

Harry blinked. "_Nani?_ Like what?"

"Like that! Using weird words...did you just call me your nanny?"

Harry blinked again, then realization struck. "_Snape_ _no baka!_" he muttered, then began explaining. "Snape cast a translation spell on me so I would understand Japanese. It's supposed to help me learn the lyrics to the songs. He was supposed to take it off, but he must've forgotten in his great rush to get away from me..." He hung his head. "I'm an idiot, Ron. A total moron. _Baka, baka baka_..." He sighed. "I told him I liked him, Ron."

Ron's eyes widened and he choked. He swallowed hard before trying to speak again. "Okay, calm down there, Harry." Ron thought for a second. "Maybe we should go see Hermione. She'd probably know how to..."

"No, Ron," Harry said, suddenly standing up surrounded by an air of determination. "This is something I must do on my own." And with that, he marched out of the dormitory, leaving a stunned Ron behind.

"I was just going to suggest Hermione take off the spell," he muttered to himself. "And what's with all those bloody mood swings?"

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Harry stood in front of the door to Snape's office, and was suddenly reminded of the last time he was there. Shaking his head to clear it, he mustered up all of his courage and knocked three times. There was no answer, and Harry frowned. He knocked again. Still no answer. Just as he raised his fist for a third time, a hand clamped down on his shoulder. He spun around to see Snape standing behind him, one eyebrow raised.

"Can I help you, Mr. Potter?"

Harry frowned at him but nodded. "_Hai_. You can tell me why you just ran off like that after I told you I..."

"I'll tell you right now, Mr. Potter, that I do not put up with such insults. I would think you'd know that by now," Snape interjected harshly, gently pushing Harry aside and gliding into his office. He tried to shut the door behind him to keep Harry out, but Harry moved too fast and managed to squeeze himself into the room before Snape could shut him out. Snape turned and coldly commanded, "Get out."

"No," Harry replied defiantly, his arms crossed in front of his chest. "Not until you tell me why you were so offended by what I said." He paused as a troubling thought overtook him. "Do you really hate me that much?"

Snape's eyes narrowed. He was starting to think he'd misread the situation. "You know better than to honestly believe that, Mr. Potter," he muttered quietly, and Harry felt a surge of excitement course through him.

"What is it, then?" he pressed. "Why were you so upset just because I told you that I liked you?"

Snape's world shattered. "Was that what you said?" quietly slipped out before he could stop it. He cursed inwardly.

Harry stared at Snape in surprise. He hadn't known? _He hadn't known?_ "_Hai!_" Harry replied angrily. "You mean you didn't know what I was saying? You just _assumed_?" 

Snape turned away. "I may have…misunderstood…"

"'May have'? 'May have' my arse! You had no idea what I was saying, did you?" Harry accused. "I try to talk to you, to tell you something important, and when you don't understand it you decide to just _assume_ I insulted you? I don't believe this." He moved to stand in front of Snape, who averted his eyes. "You, sir, need to stop being so bloody paranoid. Not everyone is out to get you, you know," Harry quietly said. "Now, do you think you could take this charm off of me, please?"

Snape looked up at him, hesitating for only a moment. "If I do, then you have to leave immediately. Is that clear?"

Harry was taken aback. "_Demo_..."

"No buts," Snape interrupted, holding up a hand. "Either you leave, or the spell stays on."

Harry narrowed his eyes, clearly hurt. "_Hai_..." he muttered, looking away. He felt a tingle as Snape's magic washed over him.

"All right, then, time for you to go," Snape said, opening the door to his office and not-so-subtley gesturing toward it. Harry, wounded look plastered on his face, obeyed.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A/N: Sorry this took so long to get out. I'm so tired...-_- zzz... Sorry. Just been very busy running two fuh-q fests, participating in two others, and still trying to get to classes. Bleh. I have no free time left...


	18. Track 17

****

It's Gravitation

Track 17

The next Saturday rolled around much sooner than Harry would have liked after his last humiliating confrontation with Snape. He'd barely spoken to anyone, only responding to simple questions, and didn't even go to see Sirius and Remus for emotional support. Simply put, he was a wreck. So it wasn't much of a surprise when Ron and Hermione had to literally drag him out of bed to get him down to the Great Hall for rehearsal, still dressed only in his pajama pants and undershirt.

"Harry? What's wrong? Why aren't you dressed?" Remus asked in concern after Ron and Hermione dropped Harry into a chair near his godfathers.

"I don't want to be here," he replied petulantly. "This is all incredibly stupid and I wish I'd never been cast. I just want to go back to the dorms now and sleep and never have to face him again."

"'Him'? Do you mean Professor Snape?" Remus asked gently, causing Sirius's eyes to narrow dangerously.

"What did he do to you now, Harry? I'll go take care of him. I'll make him regret whatever he's done. I'll..." Sirius ranted on until Remus stopped him by placing a hand over his mouth.

"He hates me," Harry replied simply, sliding lower in his chair. "He made that very clear after the last music lesson. He hates me, doesn't want anything to do with me, wishes I was dead..."

"Funny, I don't recall _that_ particular part of our conversation," a smooth voice said from behind him. Harry swallowed hard but didn't turn, instead training his gaze on the floor. "When did I say I wanted you _dead_?"

Sirius stepped forward, glaring menacingly at Snape, Remus's hand on his arm the only thing keeping him from lunging forward and tearing out the bastard's throat. Snape just cocked an eyebrow challengingly, making Sirius growl.

"Severus, was there something you wanted?" Remus asked, mildly annoyed.

"Potter," Snape replied shortly, indicating the boy in the chair with a tilt of his head. "We have some things to...discuss."

"And why should he go anywhere with you?" Ron demanded suddenly, speaking up for the first time since arriving. Hermione elbowed him in the chest and gave him a look that clearly said to stay out of it.

Snape turned his coldest glare onto the youngest Weasley boy. "Because if he doesn't, I will be most displeased," he replied frostily.

"Ron, just...it's okay," Harry said quickly as his best friend opened his mouth to say something undoubtedly stupid. He stood and faced his professor. Snape nodded and led him out of the hall. He glanced around, then headed into a darkened, empty classroom. Harry followed him in, jumping slightly as the door slammed shut behind him. He didn't take his eyes off of his professor even though Snape wasn't looking at him. Neither said anything, and for a while they simply stood there in tense silence.

"I...suppose I may owe you an apology," Snape finally said, so quietly that Harry wasn't sure he heard him right. "I didn't intend to imply that I wanted you dead." Harry opened his mouth, but no sound came out. It was just as well, since Snape apparently hadn't finished. "I overreacted. What you said...I wasn't prepared for it, although I should have been, and I didn't know what to do." Snape finally turned, and Harry could see by his expression just how difficult it was for him to tell Harry all of that. He opened his mouth again, but Snape put up a hand to stop him from speaking. Harry's mouth snapped shut. "That said, whatever it is you think you feel...it's only a temporary reaction brought on by our current situation. You don't..."

"Don't tell me how I feel!" Harry interrupted, outraged. Snape glared at him.

"I'm explaining the reality of the situation to you, Potter..."

"No, you're not! You're trying to convince yourself – and me – that what's going on isn't real so that you don't have to deal with it!" Harry spat. "Don't try..."

"Don't you dare presume to tell me that you know what's really happening when you can't possibly understand!" Snape hissed back. "You're nothing more than...than a deluded child!"

Harry's eyes widened in hurt, then narrowed in anger. His hands clenched into fists and he shoved his professor against the wall. His teeth ground together even as he stared Snape in the eye and growled, "I am not a child."

"Your actions say otherwise," Snape whispered harshly, pushing the boy's smaller frame off of him. Harry stumbled backwards. "Clearly, I was mistaken in thinking that I could discuss this with you maturely, so I suppose I should be blunt and simply say..."

"Don't you dare say that you're not interested in me," Harry cut him off. Snape gave him a dirty look, but he ignored it. "I'm not stupid or blind, you know. Every time something happened, you were just as into it as I was. Hell, there were even times I thought you would swallow me alive, you were so..." He shook his head. "Don't bother lying to me. Stop this stupid game already. Just tell me...tell me you want me." He looked up at Snape, anger and pleading fighting for dominance in his eyes. His heart sank when he saw his professor's customary shuttered look.

"No," was all Snape said before stalking out of the room. Harry watched him go, and didn't jump when the door slammed behind him. Instead he just sighed, leaned against a wall, then slid down it so that he was sitting on the floor. He banged his head backwards against the wall. 

"I'm such an idiot," he muttered.


	19. Track 18

**It's Gravitation**

Track 18

A/N: I don't really know why, but there are loads of Gackt references in here. Ten points to anyone who can find them all.

By the way, sorry about the long hiatus. I think my writer's block has cleared up for now, though, and I should be able to update this more often. And I might even get some more work done on HPMC! How exciting.

THIS IS AU. THERE ARE NO HBP SPOILERS. I PROMISE. I WILL WRITE FICS LIKE THAT LATER, WHEN I ACTUALLY FINISH THE BOOK MYSELF. BUT THIS STORY WILL ALWAYS BE AU.

* * *

Harry returned to the Great Hall only to discover that Snape had not. Apparently, he'd made the excuse that Draco was still traumatized from the episode with Sirius and needed "guidance", and thus convinced Dumbledore to let him out of the rehearsal for the day. Harry wasn't sure if he was relieved or disappointed by this.

Rehearsal went on without their Yuki, however, although Harry had an even more difficult time than usual trying to work up the energy to match Shuichi's level of hyperactivity. Thankfully, McGonagall didn't press the issue, and the rehearsal ended much earlier than usual.

"Harry!" Hermione called to him once McGonagall declared wrap-up for the day. Harry joined her and Ron off to the side, looking at them both mournfully.

"Well, I suppose there's no point in asking how things went with Sn..." Ron was cut off by Hermione's elbow jutting into his solar plexus. Hermione looked at Harry sympathetically.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked.

"Not particularly," Harry replied. "I'd really rather just..."

"Ah, Harry! So glad I caught you before you left," Lupin said, hurrying up to the three seventh years, Sirius in tow. "I have somethting I'd like you to take a look at before our next music rehearsal, if it wouldn't be too much trouble." He produced a CD ROM from within his robes. Harry stared at it, nonplussed. "I'm sure Hermione would be more than happy to let you borrow her laptop..."

"Pap lopped? What's a pap lopped?" Ron immediately asked.

"Something that papa lapped," Sirius replied, then started giggling to himself while the others stared at him. He stopped once he realized he was suddenly the center of attention. "What?"

Harry blinked, shook his head, then turned back to Lupin. "More importantly, what the hell is Hermione doing with a laptop? This is starting to make less and less sense, and..." He was cut off by the sudden sound of glass cracking and Hermione's hand slapping over his mouth.

"Shut up!" she hissed. "Are you _trying_ to break the fourth wall?" She then inexplicably smiled brightly at nothing. Ron and Harry both stared at her as though she'd lost her mind.

"At any rate, _deus__ ex machina_ aside..." the tinkling sound of glass shattering could be heard, and Hermione slapped the hand covering Harry's mouth to her forehead, "...I'd really like it if you took a look at the clips on this disc, just to get a feel of what we want to do for the music video," Remus said. "Also, there are a few episodes from the series on here that you'll probably want to take a look at, and..."

"Wait, wait, hold on!" Harry interrupted. "What music video? What are you talking about?"

"That's what I'd like to know," Ron piped up.

Lupin smiled. "Ah, you haven't gotten that far ahead in the scripts, but later on in the series, your character's band makes a music video, and while we _could_ just recreate that one, the headmaster thought it could be nice to get creative with it and see what we could come up with on our own..."

"...like burlap," Sirius mumbled, then giggled to himself. Everyone ignored him.

"No, no, that's not what I meant!" Harry exclaimed. "I meant... Look, even assuming that Hermione had a perfectly functional, albeit contraband, laptop here at Hogwarts that was completely unaffected by the high-energy magic field surrounding the school and even assuming that apparently everyone but Ron and me would just take that in stride, and even assuming I knew what a fourth wall _was_..." Harry took a deep breath, then looked deeply confused. "I forgot where I was going with that."

Remus looked at him sympathetically. "It's all right, Harry. I know it's been a rough couple of weeks and you're under a lot of stress. But I still believe in you, Harry. I know you can do this." He pushed the CD ROM into Harry's hand. "Just trust me on this, all right? Everything will be fine." He smiled reassuringly, patted Harry on the back, then walked off to find the headmaster.

"You know, Harry," Sirius said, wrapping an arm around his godson's shoulders, "If I were you, I wouldn't worry too much about ol' Snivelly." Harry blinked and looked at Sirius sharply. Sirius grinned at him. "Hey, really. He'll come around eventually, you know? After all, you're such a catch!" He chuckled and ruffled Harry's hair. "But in the meantime, I suggest looking at the file on that disc called 'vanilla underscore live underscore hotashell'. I bet that should cheer you up real quick." And with that, he headed off after Remus, leaving a very confused godson behind.

Harry looked down at the disc. It was purple, a fact that immediately gave Harry a horrible sense of foreboding. Before he could get rid of it, however, Hermione grabbed it out of his hands.

"Come on, you two. We might as well have a look at this now," she said, and motioned for Harry and Ron to follow her out of the Great Hall. Harry turned to Ron.

"That's it. I'm convinced. Dumbledore's drugged them all."

"See? I told you he was putting something in the water!" Ron replied as they obediently trailed after Hermione. "And maybe now that you realize it, you'll stop acting funny, too!" Harry cuffed him upside the head as they left the Hall.


End file.
